Having Children and the BIG question...

(Original Posting on Previous Blog October 9, 2007)

Well, I just finished watching Alexis Stewart (daughter of Martha Stewart) talk about how she spends $28,000 per month trying to have a baby on the Oprah Show. She sees various fertility specialists, injects herself twice a day with a varied cocktail of drugs designed to help her produce better eggs and more of them. When the time is just right, she goes shopping at the local sperm bank and buys some of the wiggly little guys and they try to fertilize her eggs and see if they will implant. So far, they've tried three times and no luck yet...oh and she's been trying for a while now. (Cha-Ching!!!) Of course, no one bothered to ask her the one question I kept asking while watching... "Why"?? Why does a 42 year old woman feel the desperate need to give birth. What is the real reason? Perhaps it is just part of being a woman and I don't discount that totally but my sense is that it is less mysterious than that. Alexis said that she thought it was "just part of being a woman"... Well, maybe I'm the strange one here, but I'm 38, been married for over 8 years and I'm still not feeling this overwhelming desire to give birth or see a little "mini me" running around out there. Perhaps when I am 42, I will feel differently and should that happen, I can tell you that my response to that desire will not be to spend $28,000 a month on giving birth to "my own child"...
I think everyone who wants to have children need to ask themselves the question "why"... Why do you want children? Sometimes it's just expected of us, especially if we're child-less and married. I've had "those comments" from my in-laws before but they really don't bother with them anymore since we have pretty much made it clear that we are not having children by choice. WHAT??!!?? Yes, I said by choice. People generally can't accept that answer so they wait for the longer, more drawn out reasons as to why on earth we would choose to not go forth and multiply. There are many reasons but I think when we decided the only drawback was there would be no one to visit us in the nursing home when we're 80, that was good enough. (Of course, even those with kids know that there are no guarantees of the obligatory nursing home visits!!)
So, this leaves me with the same question...why? Vanity? What is this urge to only have your own biological child? While watching Alexis, I also kept saying, "Adopt you crazy idiot". Could we consider for a moment that if our true desire is to love a child, teach them, help them and send them into the world to make it a better place, why does that child have to be biological? There are so many great kids in the U.S. that need only someone to love them, give them a home, a solid foundation and tell them they can accomplish anything to help them soar. No, you may not literally give them life, but you can save their lives. Save them from a life of foster homes, abuse, drugs, gangs or worse. And, as a bonus, if you don't mind having an African American child or older child in your family, it could cost next to nothing!!
So, if in 4 years I am crying and upset because I cannot have children due to my own decisions, I hope that I will see it as an opportunity. The opportunity to save a life and thereby "give" life to a child already in this world who truly needs only one thing to achieve greatness..my love even if they did not come from my womb....
Posted at 03:38 PM Permalink Comments (0) TrackBack (0)

As my mom used to say ... "going to hell in a hand basket"

I'm not exactly sure what that means but as I watch the news this evening and hear that only 10% of Houston's registered voters turned out for the elections, it's exactly what I thought about Americans. Once again, I can't help the overwhelming feeling that we are SO lame.... Democracy and the process of democracy is a privilege. Don't all the other citizens of this country get it?? Voting and being a part of the elections is a privilege people!! Get out there and let your freakin' voices be heard!! I'm so sick of the people who whine about this and that with elected officials, government and what they don't like and then don't even bother to get off their asses to go vote! And for all you ladies out there, let's not forget the passage of the nineteenth amendment allowing us the right to vote was less than 100 years ago!! (1920 to be exact!) African Americans were granted this wonderful right in 1870. (Thank you to Google for helping me get my dates right!!) This is not only a privilege but a something that people fought long and hard for! GEEZ!!!

Sorry, but it's really angering to me. There are people who literally die for the chance to get to this country to enjoy the freedoms that we so willingly brush aside like it's no big deal. We drown these people in paperwork, charge them out the wazhoo and require that they know WAY more about American history than any actual Americans know and yet they would die to be here. I bet they would all go vote and not whine one bit about it or panic because if they register to vote they might, oh my God, be called for jury duty!!!! Oh Lord, not that!!!!!!!!!!!

Come on Americans!! It's time to participate in this wonderful experiement called Democracy! It's not a perfect system or even close to it. I, myself, have often wondered what life would be like in the "neutral expanse" of Canada or Switzerland. We have alot of change that is going to require people to finally get out of their recliners, out from in front of the boob tube, have some serious open discussion, choose some sides and then act on it. Part of "acting on it" is to vote people. We have serious problems in this country and we need serious citizens to handle them, lest we let our country "go to hell in a hand basket"...