The Biggest Loser

Recently, a co-worker and I had a somewhat heated debate about the T.V. program, "The Biggest Loser". Let me start by saying that I like this co-worker very much and there were no hard feelings after this discussion (at least not that I was aware of). For the sake of this post and to protect the innocent, I will call my co-worker Betty.

Betty is a big fan of "The Biggest Loser". She said she watches it every week. I, on the other hand, never watch this show because I feel this show only perpetuates the cycle of hatred against the overweight.

Betty said she finds this show to be "inspiring", "uplifting" and it helps her to reach her own weight loss goals. She said when she watches this show it helps her to "go a little longer on the treadmill or workout a little harder". Mind you, Betty does not have a problem with her weight. I'm guessing she weighs about 130lbs at about 5'5" tall. That's pretty "normal" to me.

In response to Betty's comments, I said, "I think anyone who watches that show only wants to make fun of fat people". Perhaps I could have said this differently.

At this point, Betty was really mad but trying to mask it. She rose up to defend this joke of a television show by saying, "That's not true!" "That show is an inspiration to overweight people and I do not watch that show to make fun of anyone!, Betty said. In Betty's defense, she was correct about at least part of what I said. I made a broad reaching statement that is not accurate of everyone who watches that show. I truly believe that Betty's intentions are nothing but what she says they are. Of course, I am overweight, as a majority of our population is, and I find nothing at all "inspirational" about that show.

At this point, other co-workers are getting involved in the debate and Betty is clearly very upset. I explained that this show is only popular because making fun of and vilification of the overweight is one of the last forms of socially acceptable discrimination. (Note that I said, socially acceptable. I am under no illusions that racism in this country is dead. In fact, since Obama was put in office, it's at a fever pitch but that's a whole other blog post!). After some back and forth comments on this issue, Betty got up from the table and left.

When I thought about this later, I realized what I really intended to say was that this show is only on the air because, as a society, it's okay for us to make fun of fat people. It's okay to mask the secret ridicule as "being helpful". It's okay for us to do this because it's almost universally expected that we will make fun of fat people because "it's okay". Question. On this show, typically the participants will work out for hours a day with trainers screaming in their faces and participate in inane "challenges". At the end of a day like this, they go to their shared residence only to find a huge (and I mean huge) pile of cupcakes to tempt them. Is this what true "caring" or "inspiration" is like? No, it's a game. I realize that the winner will take home a huge pile of money as well. Our dirty little secret is that we really want them to eat the cupcakes. What little piggie wont' be able to resist?

I think we have to examine why a show like this is even on the air. What made the producers/creators of this show feel this would be successful? After all, they don't put shows on the air that they know or think will fail, right? Ask yourself this question. If this show were called "The Biggest Gainer" and showed anorexic people trying to gain weight, would it be as popular? No, because somehow we can feel empathy for the anorexic person. They are somehow worthy of our sympathies.

What about "The Biggest Alcoholic" or the "The Biggest Drughead"? Would that draw huge audiences? I can just see it now. "Let's see which junkie falls off the wagon tonight folks!!". Would this show draw huge audiences each week? I don't think so because these people suffer from a "disease" and an "addiction". Oh yeah, and they're probably not fat either!

Why can't fat people be worthy too? People are overweight for a myriad of reasons. Psychological issues, medical issues, bad habits ingrained from childhood and our culture of cheap fast food (which is VERY addictive but again, that's another whole blog post). Why can't we accept that fat people are suffering from a disease and addiction as well? We cannot accept this because we will not accept this. Society says that we should all be the "ideal" of thin and beautiful. We are all fighting so hard to fit this mold that we will do anything to make ourselves feel better when we know we aren't meeting the standard (which no one can meet). We will vilify the overweight to feel better about our own individual position on the "ideal" scale. Someone being fatter than me ultimately makes me feel better about myself.

In 2006, the CDC reports that 67% of adults, 20 years and older, were obese or overweight. I don't deny that this is a serious health crisis. I realize that weighing less can mean a longer, healthier life. I have lived the statistics almost every day of my 41 years. I see the hatred and stereotyping first hand. Just last week a partner in our law firm was talking about another person and made the comment, "He was ugly. Not just ugly but FAT ugly!!". What a shallow, mindless individual. If you haven't lived this day to day, you may think nothing of that comment. Not me. It told me volumes about the type of person she really is. (Not that I didn't know already).

We need to let go of our preconceived notions about the overweight and obese. We are actually hard workers, good friends, fun to be around and also, if you gain weight because we are you are our friends, well that's actually your fault, not ours. (Yes, there was actually a study that said the friends of overweight people tended to eat more than others. So I guess we get to be responsible for the everyone's weight, not just our own!) We're real people with real feelings just like everyone else.

So, what can we do? Well first, stop teaching your kids to hate. By that I mean, stop showing them that you hate yourself because of your body and thereby teaching them the same things. This only perpetuates the cycle. When they dislike their own bodies, their fear of being overweight may naturally show itself in the form of being one more person who thinks, "everybody makes fun of fat people!". Stop buying into the societal pressure to be an unrealistic "ideal". Stop supporting designers (the fashion world in general) that think it's okay to tell us we need to look like a 12 year old boy! Quite frankly, feminists everywhere should be pissed off mad about this subject but I don't see this is a big issue with the N.O.W. Where are you N.O.W??? And, when you see someone who is overweight, I want you to think to yourself, that's a person. A person just like me. It would be nice if you could see an overweight person and think nothing at all but I know that's too much to ask.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you that I have mastered all of these things myself. But, I do think about them and I think the world needs to see a different perspective on shows like this. Ask why. Why would a show like this exist?

Ultimately, until we all decide to accept one another with all of our imperfections, we will all remain "The Biggest Losers"...