"Dress Barn Fatties"..

I posted this as a response to a blog authored by a "friend of a friend" today. I post it so my friends can read it and hopefully become aware that this can happen to anyone. My "friend of a friend" is a super smart, funny, straight forward, tell it like it is, feminist gal. She didn't even realize what it meant to others (mainly me or maybe only me) when she posted "Dress Barn Fatties" in a moment of venting on her blog. And, I know, it's her blog and she can say whatever she wants to say, but I ask this question. Would we ever say the "N" word? Would we ever say the "F" word meant to describe gay individuals? Would be ever say "gimp" to a disabled person? Would we say these words EVEN in a moment of venting or in jest? Perhaps I give society too much credit. I just want people to start thinking about overweight individuals as human beings with problems just like everybody else. We're not mutants who deserve to be treated as less than acceptable. Here's the blog response:


Well, let me start by saying that I am honored that I warranted an entire blog post. Well, partly, me and the cheeseburger person. So, let me say that my comments were in no way meant to slam you for trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Go for it! I think that is awesome and I completely understand what it is like to get up at 5:00am for weeks and never see the scale budge! Maddening. AND..if I were 5'9 and 186, I would be jumping for joy (literally)!

What my comment did deal with is your use of the term "Dress Barn Fatties."
"Dress Barn Fatties" = Fat Women

I am an overweight, obese, whatever you want to call it, woman. I have struggled with weight my entire life and I still struggle today. I have lost and gained what equals an entire person twice in my life. I KNOW about struggling to lose and keep weight off, believe me.

The word "fat" in our society is used as a derogatory term for people who are overweight and it is never used in a good way. We never say, "Oh, look at that fat girl" as if it is a good thing. Also, society always tries to cover this by using the "oh, it's about their health" thing. Well, it's not at all about one's health, it's about using a disparaging remark against someone who is overweight because being overweight is one of the last acceptable reasons society can discriminate, make fun, harass and put other people down.

Example: In your blog, you said, "I am an overweight American" speaking about yourself. When you were sarcastic at the end you said, "I gained another 10 pounds. Being FAT is great!"

This proves what I was originally trying to get across. Why did you say "overweight" when referring to yourself and "fat" when being sarcastic? I simply want to bring this to people's consciousness where we can all benefit by getting rid of the acceptability of it. Also, I was just a little taken back that a champion feminist would say something like that and not see it as anti-women. Women are almost always the targets of this crap because we are held to a higher standard. We are also the target of this crap because we put up with it.

Well, I finally said "no more" to this crap and decided that when I see it, I'm gonna call it and try to help, one person at a time, to get rid of this negative, disparaging way of thinking and talking. I guess you can call me the "fat" person's champion.

Again, I just want us to think about why we feel it's okay to say something like that (without even batting an eye) and why we get so mad when someone notices and tells us it's not okay. Even if we're having a bad day or venting, we don't say certain things that are now viewed as derogatory. Why would "Dress Barn Fatties" not be included in that?

So, I hope we can still be friends. My intention was not take piss you off and take years off your life by making you so upset! But, while I'm being completely honest here, I have to admit that it caused me to wonder if you thought of me as a "Dress Barn Fattie" when we met for dinner last fall.


Shalom Out!